MY COMMUTING BLUES

I am already four months pregnant but I still go to work every day. Because of the fact that we don't own a car and even if we did, I wouldn't be bringing it to work because gasoline and parking are both expensive and I don't know how to drive, I just commute going to work daily. Unfortunately, sometimes it is not as easy as it sounds. My belly is not yet that big although when you look at it, the bump already shows. You just need to pay attention. Sadly, most passengers seem to overlook this fact.

I ride on a jeepney on my work and on my home daily. There are times when it is easy to ride one, there are times when it is hard and there are times when it gets really annoying. Maybe I experienced the same things in the past but didn't mind so much as I wasn't greatly bothered by them anyway but now, I that I am, I just cannot let them pass. I need to be on my way to work at 4 AM. Riding a jeepney at this time should be easy as there should be only a few people riding them but unfortunately, I am mistaken by that. I usually encounter people with large bulks of things that they need to sell somewhere else. Too bad, they don't want to sit at the far side of the jeepney just behind the driver's seat. It is hard for a pregnant woman like me to actually find a seat whenever there are people who are like this.

Another scenario is when some people don't even want to budge from their seats. I need my space. My baby does too. I wish people would see that. Whenever I ask people to pass my payment to the driver, it is bad enough that nobody wants to pass it for me, what is worse is that some of them pretend to be asleep or to be doing something else. I hate it when they ignore me. It is not like I am asking them a huge favor. I just need them to pass something along. What could be the trouble with that? I honestly don't know if things will change as I am encountering these situations almost every day. I hope that things will get better somehow. *Fingers crossed*

NOTE: I already added comments about the different pictures. If it is hard to see them, please click  on the photos to enlarge. Thank you!

 

Argh! What Is Up With Your Overbearing Amount Of Positivity And Happiness?

Maybe some people are just too happy for their own good. I am not exactly what you call a very cheerful person. I am more on the moody side. There is nothing wrong with positivity. I have that in me too but having way too much of it somehow annoys me. Which is why it is no wonder that when I meet people who are both overly happy and positive about everything, I try my best to just go with the flow when to be honest, I can feel my eyes twitching as I stop myself from rolling my eyes with both disinterest and displease. Sorry, I can be a bit of a Scrooge at times.

Sometimes I wonder if those people are truly like that or is it all a mask that they need to wear just to not lose face? Just like the Japanese having their social faces and their personal faces, are many people being deceived by those who seem happy and positive but in reality they are not? I don't know really. I just wonder. What if everything is superficial? What if everything is nothing but fake? I don't see that as a good thing. I see that as something bad.

In my opinion, I would rather be real in expressing myself and presenting myself to everyone than pretending to be something that I am not. If I am not a cheerful person or a positive person, why do I have to go through all the effort to show everyone what I am not? To me, it is nothing but a waste of energy. Unfortunately, sometimes society is to blame for this as well. Although I do not want to be in such a predicament, sometimes I find myself in it. I find myself trapped in a world where society dictates the norms and since I am one of the people in this society then I cannot do anything but obey.
 
Sure, I can do something. Maybe I am just powerless as I think about all the people who follow instead of disobey. This is why I decided that the safest way to get through these ordeals is to just smile and roll with things. This way nobody gets hurt. Not me, not anybody else. Sure, I am faking people too but aren't they doing the same thing to me too? Perhaps it is a technique of survival. Just like animals camouflaging themselves to survive longer. We are humans after all. We are supposed to be the highest form of animals out there. Shouldn't we be able to camouflage better then? Sorry. This today's random thought.

Sorry. I just can't be too happy and too positive all the time. It is downright exhausting.

Sometimes I just can't stand being with people who are too happy and too positive. Perhaps because I think it is not right. Go figure!

Well, even if I don't like being around with these people, that doesn't mean I don't tolerate them. After all, they are better company than others. I just can't be in my jolly mood all the time but nodding and smiling helps...A LOT!

Please Don't Rain On My Parade: My Early Morning Friday Blues

Finally, it's Friday. I woke up without hesitation despite the fact that I would rather sleep than go to work but I knew I had to. I took a bath despite the cold wind making me shiver inside the bath. I dressed up casually and went to work early. I was glad that the week is almost done. I started the day right. Unfortunately, there are just some people who will always rain on my parade.

I am an adult and I am a responsible employee. I might not be here long but I am a professional. I do my job well. I don't need someone to hold my hand through everything to the extent that I am being spoonfed. It is sad when I wanted to start my day right and somebody somehow ruins it. Bossing me around rubs me off the wrong way. Lately, it is like she always does this to me. I have gone to a point where I just want to avoid her entirely. It is hard as there are only a few employees here.

Interaction is unavoidable. Conversations are essential. Greeting other people is inevitable as it is one cardinal rule here. To be honest, those are okay however, I think since it is a rule, it sounds more insincere as we are required to do it. We do not really want to do it. We just have to. Honestly, I usually just wear a mask whenever I go to work. I don't know if this is because of the age gap that I have with most of the people here. Being older has somewhat made me not frigid but rather calculating and irritable. I try not to bother with things that I know aren't interesting enough for me. Sadly, it is truly hard to find anything interesting here aside from the work because I do love my students and teaching.

Since they are younger, they tend to have different areas of interests and to be honest, what they like, I somewhat hate. I need to wear wake up here as it is another rule. I don't mind it at all but to be asked to wear thick makeup every day is just too much. They like talking about things that will make them beautiful and all those girly things. I don't. The occassional talk of being beautiful is fine but not every day. The talk about boys and men, I am over that as well. It is okay to gush over them at times but definitely not every day. The music that they like, I avoid as I do not really mainstream often.

What I write, what I read, all of my hobbies I tried to share with them however, it seems that we will never meet halfway but I am still here because I am an adult and I am in a point in my life where I need a job not because of anything else but rather because of survival. I am not here to do other things. I will suck it up. Rant whenever I feel like it and then just keep on going. That is my only game plan. Anyway, thank God Friday is not over yet. I can still pretty much undo the damage that was done to me. I just need to avoid anything upsetting later today. After that, Hello weekend! I can't wait!

Yesterday's orders on Skype aside from the one's that were already given to me verbally. Sheesh! Am I not a teacher here?

Today's start of rain on my Friday parade. Then, before posting this, we had that awkward what are you going to do this weekend small talk. Sheesh! Moving along...

 

Umm...I don't think this is professional behavior. Talking about your boss this way is odd. I never did this before especially not online. Perhaps if I did, I blurted it right out but that as it. I never gushed over it. This one seems to have done it. Wow! That's just weird. Notice how I didn't react so much. Yes, literally I couldn't stop rolling my eyes. Sue me!

Lastly, I am a bit of a private person. At times, I want to share to others what my life is like but that doesn't mean that I have to share every last detail about me. There are boundaries. People here might think we are a family but even families have boundaries too. It is just awkward to be in a situation when you have to listen to someone or some people tell you about their personal lives that you don't really want to know a lot about. Seriously? TMI, folks! Ever heard of that?

Do Not Ask Obvious Questions...

Sometimes I do not understand as to why some people even ask questions when the answers to their questions are either pretty obvious or have already been given out. To me, it is okay if this happens once however, if it happens often then that's the time you will see me rolling my eyes. If the person who asked is turning senile or there is something wrong with their memory then this act is forgivable. Otherwise, it isn't. Hello eye rolling, head shaking and face palming!

Yesterday, I was asked why I was eating breakfast instead of teaching my student. I simply said that my student has postponed her class and will not be attending her class until after October 2. Today, I was asked the same thing by the same person. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes as I repeated the same answer that I said yesterday. I wonder if she will be asking me the same question tomorrow.

Another person asked me, Do you drink coffee? Obviously, I used to but not anymore as I am now pregnant. I was asked by the same person the same question as she was trying to make some small talk in the pantry. I understand that she wants to talk to me but there are so many topics under the sun that we can actually talk about. Asking a lame question is just a bad intro to a conversation that you really want to have.

I can give so many examples as I am always a victim to such questions and such people. I do not know why they ask such obvious questions. I don't want to say it is stupid but in the end, it all boils down to that. I remember asking a stupid question to my husband before. Apparently, I forgot that he just had a haircut and that his hair doesn't need combing because of its length. I asked him if he had a comb with him. He was stunned. He looked at me and laughed. I realized my mistake then. I apologized.

Obvious questions happen to everyone. I guess it is excusable for some people but mainly, it is not. I honestly do not want to ask such questions again as having to ask once already made me feel embarrassed of myself. I should have asked something more intellectual. The same goes to if you have nothing good to say then don't say anything at all. If you have no interesting or important questions to ask then just don't do it. Save yourself and the person that you will be asking from all suffering. Be smart. It wouldn't hurt to use your brain sometimes.

Thank goodness that I always can hold my tongue when it comes to these instances. I do not want to use sarcasm to anyone honestly, sometimes I just feel like I am forced to do so. If only more people will become more sensible and rational about things then I wouldn't find the need to control myself. Sadly, some people do not think before the speak so that unfortunately, gets the worst of them.

So True!~

 

No d'uh?!

 

Lord, help me!

 

If you can do it by yourself, why do you have to ask me?

I work in an office. I understand that when I have agreed to work here, I have have also agreed to the fact that I have responsibilities here. Cleaning is one of them. I knew it was a weekly task but when I got here, I finally realized it was a daily one. At first, I was okay with it. Doing chores was after all something that I am already used to ever since I got married however, the part that I hate the most at the moment is the fact that sometimes people get bossy with it.

This week, I am assigned to clean the toilet in the morning. Another person is in charge of doing so in the afternoon. Despite the fact that I should not be lifting buckets of water to refill the pails inside the toilet, I still do them. I scrubbed the toilet bowl seat last Monday and I have done it today as well. I didn't want to thoroughly clean the toilet as there needs to be a division of chores.

Today as I was having a class, I was sent a message by one of the leaders saying that I should check on the bathroom tiles as there were white stuff on the wall. I knew they were not there earlier as I did clean the place up before my classes started. For all I know, she might have put those there and didn't want to clean them. When I went inside the toilet, I saw that it was merely powdered detergent. All it needed was a little water and light scrubbing. To be honest, she could have done it herself. But no, she had to disturb me from work and boss me around.

What pisses me off is she is always talking initiative at work. She says that we should all have it especially when it comes to chores. She said that whenever she sees things that needs to be done, she does them without having second thoughts but it seems that what happened today is nothing but a contradiction to her earlier claims. Which makes me think if she truly was telling the truth earlier or was she merely trying to impress the bosses as they were there when she said those words? Bravado! Hubris! How I hate people who are like that. But since I still work here, I have no choice but to follow.

For now, I am merely a slave to my master and my master is my job without it, how will be able to earn money to spend on living? This, everyone, is the harsh reality of life. Modern slavery? You decide.

A copy of the message. Yes, I used print screen for it. Got a problem with that?

 

Who doesn't?

 

PET PEEVE OF THE DAY: I HATE BOSSY PEOPLE!

So, it is early in the morning and it is a Friday. I am happy because I don't have to go to work tomorrow and that hubby and I are going out later. Unfortunately, someone had to be a party pooper and ruin my morning. Apparently, bossing me around so early in the morning won't make me cooperative. It is not like I am resisting orders. I just don't want to be barked at with them so early in the morning. All I need is a reminder and definitely not a lecture.

Lately, I feel like I am being trapped because I am being dictated so many things. It is not like I am Wonderwoman to be able to do everything. I am not a slacker and definitely not a person who lets things slide just like that. However, I am human and I make mistakes. Although I rarely make them, the sad part here is that whenever I make them, they notice it. I hate the feeling of being picked on. I hate that endless cycle. As if being bullied when I was younger wasn't enough. Sheesh! Do I really have to bossed around by everyone even now?

I am a grown woman. I am not a doormat. I am entitled to my own thoughts and opinions. I am an adult. I can act on my own. I can decide for myself. I do not need to be constantly disturbed just to  be reminded of what has been reminded to me since the first hour at work. Sure, they are my superiors at work but that doesn't mean that I am a robot who should just keep on following. I am trying the best that I can. So, I hope they realize that in the end, they are not the bosses of me. I refuse to continuously be bossed around.