Sunday, March 20, 2011

Marrying The Family

If you think that marriages are simple then you're dead wrong! Before even considering marrying your fiance/fiancee, have you ever thought about the fact that when you get married, you're not going to be married just with him/her but rather with his/her family and friends too? Well, if you haven't then now's the right time to do so. Consider yourself in that situation before taking things to the next level. I'm not saying that if you don't get along well with his/her family that you break up with your partner and severe ties with your future in laws. Let's not get too dramatic, irrational and childish about it. Again, we are all adults and as human beings, we all must do our best to be civil and get along, no matter how different we all are. All I'm saying is that before you ever think of getting into something, it's a must to know what you're getting into first. Still don't get my point? I'm saying get to know your future in laws first before actually getting stuck with them. Like an interested buyer, why not inspect the product first before actually buying it so that you will know it's worth it? We all know that relationships are like investments. Sometimes we have to be analytical by making use of our mind first for making the right decisions before we use our heart but hey, they aren't called relationships for nothing. I know most of the time the heart still wins despite the brain being placed higher than it but at the end of the day, we still have to make the call by ourselves. Sure, our decisions in our relationships are still affected or in fact for some, influenced by those around us and the situations that we go through in each relationship but honestly, none of those matter. 

In business, you have to know when to cut your losses and if we are going to apply that to relationships, it means we have to know if we should continue with it and hope for the best in the future or decide to end it now and save us from all the pain that the future might bring. Unlike family members, friends are easier to get along with. Mainly because even if their ages vary, you still have to understand the reason why they became your partner's friends. Find what binds them together and what they all have in common and I'm sure you'll fit right in. Future in laws, however, cannot be categorized as easily. Always remember that they are still family after all and thus, they often have a say in your relationship. Which is why their approval is highly approved if you want to make sure that you will have a happy married life with them in the future. However, that isn't always the case. If you are into the whole you and me against the world thing then you wouldn't put this into consideration. Instead, you'll be fearless and sometimes even shameless. You will boldly declare being a rebel, never yielding in rules and never taking anything into consideration which is sometimes rather selfish. Sure, you'll end up getting what you want with your relationship however, it will be at the expense of others which is not cool. 

If after analysis, you are truly serious in taking your relationship to the next level then by all means do but if you do not get along well with your future spouse's family then I suggest you get ready with your wooing prowess. It may be difficult to even coax a single person to accepting you and I strongly suggest not to be too obvious and work too hard to the extent that everything seems contrived however, once, you do get their approval then I guarantee that all of your hard work will pay off. Just let your interpersonal skills come naturally for you don't want to rub people off the wrong way. Yes, there are monster in laws out there but you'll be lucky if you don't end up being with some and even if you do you're still lucky for it's not everyday that you suddenly have another family overnight. It's like getting your wish granted without even actually wishing for it. I believe that marriage is one of the best ways to solidify the forming relationship between two people and two families. In reality, not all marriages stay strong forever but that doesn't mean we shouldn't continue to have faith and keep on trying. The fate of your marriage rests in your hands. Do not let your families or your in laws come between you instead, let them help you build a strong foundation within. Again, be realistic, you can't have a perfect marriage and even have perfect in laws. Be optimistic though but be cautious as well. Always remember that if you really want something to work for the best then you need to continuously work hard for it. With that in mind coupled with a good support group and with God at the center of everything, nothing can go wrong. Let's just have faith...

No two families ever get along well immediately. It takes years of practice and sometimes it takes lots of understanding too. Always remember that you do not belong to just one family now but rather two so never ever take sides not unless it's absolutely necessary. Be the mediator and bridge the gap. Don't be the instigator! 

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