Tuesday, May 10, 2011

You're Perfect To Me

"I never did like you perfect. I guess I like you better flawed. So, who needs a perfect woman when I have you?" 

He said this to me the other day and I smiled when he did. Yes, it did make my day. But how can the woman in me forget all this anxiety? Why am I getting so worked up with my insecurities? Truth to be told, it's hard to tell.

I am a woman and I have grown insecure. Yes, I admit it. I am an insecure mess. I try to be perfect. I always try to be someone else. I try to be better than everybody else. What does that make me? Why can't I just be me? Why do I always have to consider other people when my happiness lies in me? Up to this day, I am still confused. Don't get me wrong, I love myself but I just don't know what to do with myself sometimes anymore. I am obsessed with being somebody that I am not. I have even tried to hurt myself. It's complicated. I feel the pain inside me. I'm conflicted. What else should I be?

They say men like women who aren't insecure and who believe in themselves. I believe in myself too but why do my insecurities come to the fore whenever you don't need them to be? No, I don't believe that everybody's greeted equal for if so then why are other people born with better lives than others? Life is unfair as we know it. But, I am a grown woman now and have learn to deal with my insecurities. Somehow, someway, things fade and whenever I feel an insecurity in me arise, I stop and think about it. I reflect before I get into a self-destructive rut again. I've been there done that so before I ever go there again, I'd better stop. 

Insecurities are a part of who we are and a part of growing up and if we don't learn to face them or conquer them, we can never get better thus, we can never win them all. We may not be perfect in our eyes but to others we are. So why be depressed when you are loved? Just remember that insecurities only make relationships complicated and sometimes it can be the reason for losing a loved one as well. So, learn to let go of the little things that don't matter and learn to live with things that matter most. 
Yes, this is me...
This I can assure you is true...
I wonder why girls think this way. Perhaps we have the media and the society to blame for all that. Why can't we all just be ourselves and live happy and normal lives instead? I don't want a life that's being dictated by what's in and what's out. I just want to live my life the way I should live it. With no thoughts whatsoever about what other people will think and say about me. I want to be FREE!!!
Misunderstood is the best damn definition of someone like me especially during the time when my insecurities were eating me alive. It was horrifying and I never want it to happen to me ever again...
I'm sorry if I can't be perfect...
Good thing I have found someone who looks past my flaws and just love what is before him. Not everybody is lucky though.

No comments:

Post a Comment