Thursday, July 7, 2011

Men Of Fiction VS. Men From The Real World

Most women if not all still believe that one day they will meet their Prince Charming who will treat them like a princess and sweep them off their feet or one day they will bump into their soulmate who in the end will become their Mr. Right. These fictional men exist only in either our dreams or in the movies we watch or even in the stories that we read. I am a hopeless romantic too but come to think of it, the men from the real world pales into comparison from the men from our fictional world. Nobody is perfect, they say and we cannot expect our partners to be everything we've ever wanted or wished for. For if we do think that way, we shall only end up being disappointed in the end. I can't remember my dream man. Perhaps I never really had one to begin with. Sure, I have read many fairy tales and read countless of romance novels. At the same time, I have seen so many romantic movies and romantic shows. I am not a skeptic when in comes to true love. Let's just say that I am a realist.

I am a grown woman who has made up my mind about things that shouldn't exist and fictional men are included in that list. It's not that I never want them to exist to begin with. It's just that in my heart, I know they don't for if they did then how come there are so many women out there who are broken hearted, all because their fictional men never came to their rescue, never wooed them or never changed their lives forever so that they can live their own version of a happily ever after? Let's face it. Real men do not do such things. We can dream about it, fantasize about it and even think about it but we can never live it. I am not saying that men are not capable of being romantic. I know they are. They just have a different idea in their heads when it comes to these things. Let's just say men are not experts in this field. They can be sweet at times but do not expect them to be like that 24/7 if you don't want to end up weeping every night just because he never made love to you that night or never even bothered to massage your feet after such a hectic day at work.

Fictional men can come in many forms. There's the knight in shining armor, the prince charming, the bad boy who will change for you, the martyr who will die for you, Mr. Right, Mr. Perfect and everything that a woman's mind can come up with. Real men come in different forms as well but their unpredictability can cause problems in who and what they are. Unlike fictional men, men from the real world are rather more complicated and have a mind of their own. They can love you now and hate you later. No one knows really and yet they say that we, women, are so hard to read. As if we don't have that kind of difficulty as well when it comes to reading them. Some women are fortunate though to have met men who are somehow similar to their fictional counterparts. They may not be 100 percent like them but at least they try to be better like some of the men I know. Unfortunately, not all women are that fortunate. Some women end up living with men who are far worse than anyone could ever imagine. Come on, no woman would like to be battered, abused, harassed and unloved. I pity women who settle for that less when we all should strive for someone or something better in this life. We may not all have them in the end but it wouldn't hurt to try at least.

For sensitive women like me, men who watch pornography or look at other women's photos or even ogle them in person is a big NO NO! But do our partners care to be more careful with what they do and change their ways? NO! Men from the real world care but sometimes their primitive side takes over and it lets their erection direct them to what they should be doing instead. It is said that men do not think with their brains or decide with their hearts but rather let their lust and their genitalia do most of everything for them. Personally, I think that's gross and that's just lame. Why would you be given a brain and a heart when you don't even use it? Seriously! Too bad that I cannot shake off this feeling inside me as I have seen way too many men who are like this. Sadly, I think I am married to someone who is like this as well at times but what can I do? What's done is done and besides, people can still change if they put their efforts into it, right? But honestly, I think it's just the way it goes and no matter how hard we try as women to correct their wrongs by deleting their porno stash from the computer or burn their DVDs, CDs, their posters and their magazines or even castigate them every now and then for seeing them ogling other women, Nothing can ever change the fact that some men are just pigs and will stay the way they are forever. We just gotta live with it and try not to hurt either ourselves or anyone in the process.

There are however some men who try to appeal to their soft side and try to have a different approach on women. They tell us, women, that they are not like the other men we've met, dated, slept with, married, divorced, etc. They put themselves up in a pedestal thinking that by doing so, it would elevate the way we, women, perceive them. Too bad that not all women are that dumb anymore these days. Sure, some men can be genuine good guys but be careful not be deceived by their oh so clean facade because you will never know what lies within not unless you've known the person long enough. Some men are just genuine assholes. Some are even proud of it so if you are a man who is different from the rest, why bother elevating yourself when all the other men who flock this world are just low lifes who aren't really competition to you? Think about it. Men from the real world are too busy trying to be someone they are not when all women want sometimes is them being just themselves even to the dirty bits. Not all women though are like that. Some just want the good parts which is why I don't blame some guys who pretend that they are perfect just to get the girl. It's a vicious cycle and we all have to live in this world along with it.

Women are to blame for coming up with perfect men in their dreams, their fantasies and even in the things that they write. Maybe men just want to please us, women, in the end in their own little way and yet, we pay them no attention. Why? All because we still keep on hanging to these fictional men who we think will come for us one day but what happens when they don't? Would you like to end up being old and alone without anyone to share your life with? The thought scares me. Dying alone is just a horrible way to die. They say it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. If that's the case then maybe that's why some women just settle for someone who isn't like the fictional men that she encountered before. Maybe at the end of the day, women realize that real men can make us happy and be with us every single day while fictional men will just stay in our heads forever. We all make tough choices in our lives and sometimes finding the love of your life is one of those tough choices. You can either continue waiting for nothing or just settle for someone who you will know will not be as great as what you think your partner should be but at least he can try to be with your guidance and support. Maybe real men can be molded in more ways than one. It's just up to their partners on how they are going to do it.

So as a woman, heed my advice. Fictional men are nice to watch, read about and even think about but at the end of the day, you will realize that they can never be with you. Remember that men from the real world can hurt you, make you lose your patience or even make you go crazy but at the same time, they can make you happy, do things for you that will make you love them more and even give you a family. We live in the real world so wake up and smell the coffee. It's time to stop dreaming and go on living. My husband may not be the handsomest man in the world. He may not be the best dresser there is out there or the best kisser that would make my knees weaken whenever he'd give me a passionate kiss. He may not have a job that would him a millionaire or have cars that would take us anywhere. He may not be romantic or understanding but I love him and even if he makes me hate him so much at times and make me feel bad about myself or even regret why I married him, I am still here for him because in my heart, I know that I can never find anyone like him. He may be rough around the edges but he will be him without the flaws in him so I would not love him any less. Life is not perfect and so are we so why ask for something that superficial when you can always go for something real. But then again, I never said you should stop dreaming...

Life is not just about happy endings but rather about happy beginnings and happy endings. I may not have the man of my dreams right now but somehow I am happy. At least I have found someone who has made me feel special despite his short comings. Hopefully, all women out there will find men who would do the same for them as well and hopefully, they will realize that waiting sucks. What if the person you are waiting for is never coming for you? What will happen next after that? Only you can answer that question.


  1. This was very insightful. I guess I'm a dreamer when it comes to guys. I want them to be cheesy and caring, I want to have butterflies everytime I'm near them and I want to fall in love forever. However, I do know that no one's perfect so I'm not a hopeless dreamer! Haha.

  2. Thanks C! I am working on another blog entry that's similar to this one. Thanks for saying that this was insightful. I agree about you not being a hopeless dreamer. We can't all be hardcore realists besides it is still nice to dream of things sometimes.

  3. I had this argument with a friend. He was asking me about my Mr Perfect. So, I told him, a guy will never become perfect unless I will consider him perfect for me. I guess I just hit his ego that time. lol! Nice blog best!

  4. Thank you, bes! I had fun writing this one. I wrote this while I was pissed at my hubby for something. I actually wished I had a man who was more like the men from fiction that I mentioned here but at the end of the day, I realized there is no such person. I can continue dreaming but I should learn to wake up one day and realize that I am just wasting my time on such things that can never materialize.