Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Forgotten Flings, Former Flames & Past Acquaintances

Time flies. That we know of. It doesn't tick  slowly  for us but rather fast. We all want to make time move slowly for us for many reasons. For me, I would have wanted time to pass me by slowly only  because I didn't want to miss anything and instead cherish the moments that I was in. I felt like I wanted to linger in them, savoring every last detail and forming them into unforgettable memories. Unfortunately, we can never control time and so we just let things pass us by. Funny how after such a long time of never catching a glimpse of each other, you end up seeing someone that you knew in your past - might have been connected, might have been linked or simply just had a friendship with. Isn't it odd when you're actually there and you feel like I need to talk to this person, who might or might not know you anymore, just because you remembered them and wanted to know how they were? I've been in that situation more than once before and let me tell you how uncomfortable it was. 

But first, I think I should focus on my other somehow similar experiences first. Looking at the facebook page of one of my former acquaintances just made me have a smile  on my facTime really flies by fast. Now, he is happily married with a 1 year old daughter. Congratulations to him! Coincidently, I kept on running into him in the building I was working in last year and it was hard to say hello to him for I do not know if he remembers me still. Though I often catch him looking at me when I try to look at him in secret just to confirm if it is really him. Odd how even if we keep on seeing each other, we both just never had the heart to say hi. I will keep on wondering about it until this day as to why he never did and I never did as well. Alright, I admit, we dated but that was a long time ago and I was still young then. I was still addicted to a certain online video game and he happened to be a GM working for the company. He also cosplayed like me and often saw him in events but that was all. He was a good person though which is why I am happy for the way his life went.

What about when you go to the mall and as you walk to one of the restaurants, you see someone you knew and then they ended up just staring at you the whole time but had no courage to approach you? I didn't want to be the first person to introduce myself. Perhaps that other person as well. Don't get me  wrong. My memory is good when it comes  to people. Its just that I am not the type who goes on socializing to people who she doesn't know remembers her. I wouldn't risk it. So, I ended up eating faster than I should then was in a hurry on my way out. It was crazy. It was like there were two sets of eyes boring into my nape or  something.  It was definitely an odd experience. Hmm...such a thing is probably what stalkers do. How about when you ride in a public transportation and then you suddenly realize that the person in front of you is someone that you knew? Do you say hi or just ignore that fact and wait for the person to do the first move? As usual, I always choose the latter. I am such a coward with these things. I probably will never stop being one.  

Maybe they still remember me. Which explains the odd stares and the wordless eyes that seem to just look at me, as if they are hesitant to say something, as hesitant as I will ever be. Maybe they should just stay in the past which is why it is better not to say hi to them. It is not like I owe them money or anything and no, I didn't do anything bad to them. Its just that it is never easy to be reacquainted. Go figure! This is how I see it. So whether you are my past flame, my former fling or perhaps an aquaintance of mine,  I can face you all but I don't think I can ever say anything to you. Not because I am afraid or anything, I guess I just don't know what to say. I don't know how you wil react and furthermore, I do not know if  it would be appropriate. So the past will stay in the past, that is what they say which is why I am currently evaluating that statement whether it is true or  not. Either way all I can say is that even if I don't  get to say something or anything to you right now, I am glad that I met you and that you became a part of my  life.  Who knows how you have affected me and how you have influenced me to become the person that I am today. Thank you for everything. I won't mention you all. You guys know who you are. 
The past is  gone. I must move on from here. To all those that I have left behind, I am sorry but thanks for the memories. I wonder if I will be in your memories too?

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